`flying through foe to paradise ; 11:01 PM
Need help, no joke.

I can't seem to get fat. The more I eat, the more I shit, which makes me fearful of consuming excess food. Shit too much..my there pain because of the friction. Just had diarrhoea today due to eating too much last night. Hahaha sounds lame but true.

Siansation. Any kind souls out there with brillant ideas please tell me how to gain fats naturally without pills. Thanks. =)



`flying through foe to paradise ; 12:58 AM
This duty week is very hectic. Good job and thumbs up for enduring thus far.

Lots of stunts made, took a lot of efforts to cover them one by one so that they won't get punishment. I will be the shield for my platoon.

However, this shield is going to break soon. Wear and tear. Final burst like what I mentioned in the previous post. I want to step down.

More white hair growing on my head. Not the stress that I can't handle as GC, but sick of everything else that I need to oversee. Got one took a drastic move to express interest in becoming the GC, which goes to show how keen that he wants to be one. Good time for me to step down le.

Main concern now is with my PC. He's actually the same age as me, and same JC. He can work comfortably with me because my working style matches his. So, he refuses to let me go.. Sadded. PC currently don't feel comfortable to entrust work to the expressed interest guy as much as he does to me. He's afraid the platoon will not be doing well after I hand down.

Tired and lethargic. I need to breathe.

Haha, anyway, I just discovered that I have this half-asleep mode. My eye lids are half close while sleeping, hence I still know what's going on to my surroundings. Looks quite scary actually with the half eye lids and eyeballs rolled up. Haha. This mode helped me thru this xiong duty cycle working as a GC alone by myself as my partner had att c. But definitely, I think is more damaging to my body and should not be activated so oftenly.

Got accepted to University of Melbourne too. Very delighted. Basically the 3 Australia university applications have all been accepted. Don't know which one to choose..hopefully Australia would be a better environment and time for me to chill after NS.

Well then, time to recharge my body, mental and soul. Take care to all.



`flying through foe to paradise ; 1:23 AM
Can't wait to go for university.

Sad. I don't like to punish people. I don't like to control people. I don't want to enforce discipline. Sick of everything. In Chinese, they call it 得寸进尺. Being nice, in return kena attitude by some people. Other onlookers said I should have disciplined that fella, but I chose to save some face for him. I don't even know what I'm doing, whether is it right or wrong. Lost.

One more final burst and I think is my limit. I will stop fighting for welfare. I no longer care. Furthermore, who cares for me ? There's no point for me to do so much for them. Tired, lethargic.

I have blacklisted 2 guys.

If only it was civilian life, it would be as simple as TOTALLY ignoring them and mixing with the others. In army, everything must be tactical, even with the way you treat people. Not matter how much you dislike that person, you would try to hide it, especially as a leader. I hate it this way, I just want to be me and not a 2 sided freak.

Sad things aside. Received my confirmation to the admission of University of Monash and New South Wales. Extremely delighted. Hope more good news to come.




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